The final straw was when I met a fairly attractive gentleman (I use the term "gentleman" very loosely) that I thought might finally be "the one"! We had met for coffee a couple of times, then for drinks and dinner and then the big test... we went on a hike together! I'm a big hiker and if I meet a guy that likes to hike I get really excited.
It had been almost two weeks and we had kissed and he had passed the kissing test (no bad breath or unnecessary slobber) but I still wasn't ready to take it to the next level. He had been pushing for that and it made me feel a little uncomfortable.
Let me take a little time out to give you some advise. You're a grown woman, right? And I assume you know what you want and don't want. You've been listening to your inner voice for many years. You may not have listened to it in the past and maybe that got you into a bad situation. You may or may not have learned from that experience, but eventually you learned to listen to your inner self. When you feel that icky feeling in your stomach, when something doesn't feel right, that's your inner self telling you that what you're doing is wrong for you! Maybe not bad, or wrong for someone else, but wrong for YOU! That's when you need to listen and stop doing whatever it is. Your inner self knows what's good for you!
So getting back to the story, my inner self was telling me not to sleep with this guy yet. We went out for a glass of wine one night and he started talking about having sex and I told him I didn't think I knew him well enough yet. He (we'll call him Bob, just for simplicity), Bob, got really upset and accused me of playing games with him. I politely said, no, I'm not playing games. I like you. I just don't think I'm ready to have sex with you. I didn't tell him I wasn't ever going to have sex with him. Lord, I wanted to meet someone that I could be with that way, I just wasn't sure if it was him. He was being sort of pushy and I wanted it to be on my terms.
Advice to any men that might be reading this: Don't shoot yourself in the foot! If a woman likes you and the kissing is good, just give her time to feel good about sleeping with you! Be patient! Eventually, if you're meant to be together, you will both get what you want. If you annoy her and act like a jerk, you will get NOTHING! And if all you want is sex, just pay for it for god's sake!
Anyway, long story short, the guy started getting really nasty and accused me of being a tease, so I calmly paid for my glass of wine, stood up and walked out. Wow! That felt sooooo good! Especially when he immediately texted me and apologized profusely for being a jerk, then 10 minutes later, when I didn't text him back, insulted me again. Whew! I certainly dodged that bullet!
There is something you miss when meeting someone online and that is the mystery and thrill of flirting. Of being attracted to someone and finding out that they are attracted to you too! Of talking and getting to know each other and letting the tension grow between you. I'm not saying that never happens online, but usually by the time you go out with someone you met online the mystery part is gone. You know you are meeting for the purpose of dating. Maybe once in 20 or 30 matches you might find one where there is some chemistry.
I realized than and there that I like myself too much and I'd rather be alone than waste my time with some narcissistic jerk. I decided if I was going to meet someone worthwhile it would be doing something I loved.
Anyway. That was the turning point. NO MORE DATING SITES FOR ME!
