You're not going to meet anyone sitting at home watching Jane Austen movies and day dreaming about Mr. Darcy. Find a passion, preferably one that is shared by men. Yes, knitting is fun and you'll meet lots of great girl friends at the knitting club, but try to keep that down to once a week or less. You'll need those girls around you for support when you finally do get out into the dating world.
Check out meetup.com. There is something for everyone and every age there. Just enter something you might be interested in, such as hiking, dancing or photography. There are even meetups for older singles who just want to socialize. Find something you like and do it! You have a better chance of meeting someone that you have things in common with when you are doing something you love! Find your passion!
Tip: If you are too shy to show up at an event with a bunch of strangers, get a girlfriend to go with you the first time. Chances are, everyone else at the event is feeling the same way you are. You won't be among strangers for long!
Step 2 - Get fit!
You just spent the last 20 years raising your family and then your scumbag of a husband runs off with his young secretary. (It happens more often than you care to know!) Yes, you let yourself go a little. Who has time to work out when you have a job (probably) and a home to maintain and children to feed. Well, the house is empty now, so no need to keep it quite so spotless and you have nothing but time.
Start easy. Join a gym or a class but don't hurt yourself. Take baby steps and you'll be surprised at how quickly the pounds drop off and you start gettting your shape back again! If you're smart, you'll join a meetup that involves getting some exercise and meeting men! There is nothing more satisfying than looking so good that your deadbeat ex wonders why he ever left you in the first place.
If you suffer from disabilities and can't exercise, ask your doctor what you can do to trim down. Sometimes it's as easy as a change in diet. I recently read the Belly Fat Cure and learned that wheat is inflammatory. So by cutting that out of my diet, not only did I loose my belly, but I also get the added benefit of managing my arthritis pain!
Step 3 - Be cautious of Dating Sites!
(But try it if you're the adventurous type!)
As one of my friends recently said, online dating is like being in high school again. The guys you like don't like you and the guys who like you, well... you wouldn't look twice at them! That being said, if you are prepared to kiss a lot of frogs (or drink a lot of coffee) you could get lucky. I hear stories all the time about people that met online, fell in love and got married. That is the ultimate goal for most of us, right? And it does happen sometimes.
A Few Words of Caution:
- Always meet in a public place. Don't ever have a stranger pick you up at your home.
- Never go to his home unless you have been dating for a while and are ready to take it to the next level.
- If you are doing anything other than meeting in a public place, tell a friend where you are going and what time you will be home. Tell her you will call her at a set time and if you don't, she should call 911. Make sure she knows where you are! Of course if you're just having a good time and forgot to call her, you may be in for an embarrassing visit from the police department!
What to Expect (and try to avoid):
- Sugar Daddy - This guy is in his late 50's, early sixties and will only date women 30-45 years old. Who is he kidding? He'd better be filthy rich if he really believes a 30 year old woman would date someone twice her age!
- Don Juan - This guy is really good looking, but is only out to get laid. He preys on women that are newly divorced and lack self confidence. He take's you out and wines and dines you and showers you with praise and at the end of the night drops the "S" bomb. When you politely tell him you prefer to wait until you know each other better, he says something like "Really? I just bought you dinner and you're going to make me wait?" My advice to you - run away very fast! My advice to him - hire a prostitute if you just want to get laid!
- Grandpa - This guy posts photos from 10 or more years ago and may even lie about his age to get a younger woman. When you meet him for coffee, you will barely recognize him. If you're desperate enough to stay for the coffee, he'll tell you that one of his friends set up his profile "as a joke" or "to help him out" and put the wrong birth date in and now it is impossible to change it. If you're smart, you will just turn around and walk away and tell him later that you didn't see anyone that resembled the photos.
- Flirter - This guy emails you and makes some nice comments about your photos and asks you a few interested questions. You get all excited that finally someone interesting and cute is interested in you, but then it goes nowhere.
- The Widower - Watch out for this guy. His wife took care of him for the last 40 years so he never had to take care of himself. He's just looking for someone to take her place. Someone to cook and clean for him and to take care of him. If you are willing to be someone's maid in return for some pretty boring companionship this will be a match made in heaven!
Read more about online dating in your sixties.
Step 4 - Trust in the Universe!
When all else fails, pray! God, the Universe, your Divine, your Guides, whatever you believe and want to call it... wants you to be happy! But your Divine (that's who I call on) can't send you Mr. Right unless it knows that's what you really want. You need to be specific. You need to itemize all the traits and then just have a conversation (or pray) with your Divine.
Just say "Look here, Divine. I've had coffee with 23 toads now and I know what I don't want. What I do want is a life partner who is tall, good looking, active, fit, kind, spiritual, [you fill in the rest]. Now I know you love me and want me to be happy, so please send this guy to me now! I really appreciate it and I thank you in advance for sending this fabulous guy my way." Then you walk outside with a smile on your face and joy in your heart and BAM! There he is! Just the way you ordered it! (This really happened, but more on that later!)
Hope this post helps you to get out there and meet some men!
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